Monday, March 17, 2008

Disorientation

After about three months outside university I feel like I habe been living in the often mentioned ivory tower. A small microcosmos of a very peculiar species of people, all of them pretty much the same, all of them remote from reality, a very protected environment with a very small diversity.

As all of them, I still have no clue who I actually am, what I actually want, what is my goal in live, if there actually is one. Still I have not found my place in the world, nor the path I want to follow. Probably there is no path, but I also don't know that. A lot of people I meet seem interesting, some of the people I know seem boring at times. I think I am completely lost[1]...

A vague feeling also suggests that most of my friends who are not yet married and settled down - and even a couple of those who are do - don't have any clue what live is going to be. On the other hand, I also can't stand people who know by the age of 18 where they are by the age of 80.

I do have an interesting and well paid job, I do have great friends, who I really admire, I do have fascinating hobbies, I have seen quite an interesting part of the world, and basically I should be happy. But somehow something is missing... Probably this is normal. I should get used to it.


[1] I also know that I am completely drunk right now...

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well, I've got the same feeling most of the time - but it goes away once I'm not sober. That's a difference, although I'm not sure whether it is good

Neunlaternen

Mariana said...

Nils, esse sentimento não tem nada a ver com o que se faz, ou com casar e ter filhos.

Acho é que custa a crer que ser adulto afinal é isto, esta incerteza de não se saber para onde se quer ir, esta dúvida a cada decisão que tomamos. Sempre pensei que os adultos sabiam tudo, afinal é mentira...

E falta-nos sempre qualquer coisa...