I am close to explode! Just had a five minute phone call from my bosses on my mobile (I was so stupid to hand it to them. Never ever give your private phone number to your boss!). There is now a serious danger that tomorrow I will tell them to fuck off.

Our project is seriously behind schedule, we have to get an important test up and running by end of next week. I (and only I, nobody helping) started preparing that some two months ago, getting a setup which already worked in some other place. Mounted it, plugged it in, didn't work. So I started debugging, got it running quite OK, but there is still some big flaw in it. Got some "Experts" watching over my shoulder, just to get them to the same conclusion as me "We do not know. It should work..." There have been a lot of "it should..." the last few weeks.

At the same time I have to develop the read out software for the test's hardware. I have never done such thing before, I have to learn everything how to do it, including polishing my programming skill, which were slighly above the "Hello, World"-level. Alone this is a full time job. Also taking into account, that I do not know alot about electronics, I have something like two full time jobs plus learning how to do them at the same time. Sitting in a cave, 6 floors below ground, breathing dried air, having really noisy electronics around me, my desk in the office taken over by random people, the other desk which I sometimes used, when mine was occupied by some PostDoc happening to be around, is full of computers which just sit there and rot.

And today this phonecall. I left early, so that I don't go crazy down there. I did not answer the first two calls, I was busy with other things then. I answered the third call some hours later. Big mistake. As I am the personal slave, I have to be at the experimental hall all the time, work round the clock. "There could have been done so much more", they said. Well, there could. If we would have two or three people more, who actually would know what they do. "You could have done that already". Yes, I could. I could also have gone mental and killed everybody. Or ran off to brazil. Or could be abducted by aliens. Just because they like spending their entire life together with other nuts in a cave does not meen I have to. So, tomorrow, I probably will tell them to sod off. I might end up without getting my PhD for that, but I wouldn't have got it for that anyway. Experiment's policy is that you only get you PhD for Analysis. So far for motivation.

You see, I have fun, I am well and I really enjoy my life. On the positive side, two weeks from now I will be 2500km away. I will not be reachable for anyone. And I will spend that time with friends. So, there's hope...